It has been a week of events. A friend's wedding in Cochin, another's wedding announcement, the third's pursuit of 'someone special' and yet another quitting her job to move abroad. From where I stand, I see all of them moving on - in search of something better to make their lives more fulfilling.
From where I stand, I see them all smiling back at me, waving at me. I smile back, egging them to go and wish them luck. I am supposed to be happy for all of them. Yet, a thought creeps into my mind. "Why am I standing?" It's a thought I initially dismiss as "just another one of those things". But they linger and begin to grow on me.
I try to conceal them with my smile, laugh them off till I can't ignore the tingling sensation of pain or anxiety - I am not too sure. Of being left behind, or of being simply silly and not understanding enough, I don't know.
"I have moved on, why shouldn't everybody else?" It's not easy to let go of all those memories we've built up together. They're not castles of sand but of love, effort, compassion, companionship and time. They're difficult to erase. You will ask me, "Why should you?" I'll tell you there's no need to actually wipe the slate clean. But deep down I know, those are but memories. They are going to stay and they are going to remind me of what we all have had and what we may no longer have. It's not the end of the world. But the world's going to be different from now.
A friend had once told me, "Move on is my favourite word. It presents itself like a solution to most of the problems you encounter in life. It's not exactly 'the running away' that is associated with escapism. It's just casually letting go of something you've always wanted to keep." It is like stepping onto a transporter, where you move while everybody else is on the move.
Another had told me about how nothing in life is constant. "Not even people who love you," he had said. "You shouldn't be standing, when they go. You should be moving with them too," he had told me. Maybe it's my time to move on. I just have to find a direction.
From where I stand, I see them all smiling back at me, waving at me. I smile back, egging them to go and wish them luck. I am supposed to be happy for all of them. Yet, a thought creeps into my mind. "Why am I standing?" It's a thought I initially dismiss as "just another one of those things". But they linger and begin to grow on me.
I try to conceal them with my smile, laugh them off till I can't ignore the tingling sensation of pain or anxiety - I am not too sure. Of being left behind, or of being simply silly and not understanding enough, I don't know.
"I have moved on, why shouldn't everybody else?" It's not easy to let go of all those memories we've built up together. They're not castles of sand but of love, effort, compassion, companionship and time. They're difficult to erase. You will ask me, "Why should you?" I'll tell you there's no need to actually wipe the slate clean. But deep down I know, those are but memories. They are going to stay and they are going to remind me of what we all have had and what we may no longer have. It's not the end of the world. But the world's going to be different from now.
A friend had once told me, "Move on is my favourite word. It presents itself like a solution to most of the problems you encounter in life. It's not exactly 'the running away' that is associated with escapism. It's just casually letting go of something you've always wanted to keep." It is like stepping onto a transporter, where you move while everybody else is on the move.
Another had told me about how nothing in life is constant. "Not even people who love you," he had said. "You shouldn't be standing, when they go. You should be moving with them too," he had told me. Maybe it's my time to move on. I just have to find a direction.
2 comments:
Hi. Found you on twitter. Wassup?
By the way, it was quite philosophical :)
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