Counting birds to deal with stress

When I am tired of people or stressed because of what they do, I count birds and record my counts and sometimes even their calls/songs. And even if it seems like the most mundane thing to do in a busy world, never, in my 22 years of bird watching, I have counted exactly the same number of birds each time. There's always a change: a couple of pigeons less, two more doves, the common mynahs and bank mynahs are exactly the same, the murder of crows has a few new members, the egrets are missing three... Humans are predictable and often boring because we have created clocks and routines, rules and regulations and social norms that are often cast in stone. Birds just be birds. I am grateful for them in my life.

About Compassion and How I Got It Wrong

Compassion is prepared to meet others wherever they are, recognizing that the circumstance or challenge they now face is as much a part of their life as any other part of their life. Compassion can laugh or cry, joke or commiserate, be curious and inquisitive, chatty or silent. Compassion is not afraid to be fully present, hopeful, or lighthearted. Compassion does not turn away. It is never afraid to see beauty or find humor or share a fractured heart.

Compassion contains no pity because it does not judge one circumstance of life as better as or worse than the next. For it comes from a place in which all things are from G‑d's hand, presented to us to be lived to its completion.

Compassion is not constricted by "rules" because it recognizes the uniqueness of each instant and each person. As compassion opens the door to visit the sick, it has no idea what lies ahead and so is prepared for spontaneity, for the unexpected — whether from the patient or from itself.

Compassion creates its own result. As it interacts with the other, a new thing happens, because compassion is prepared to yield to whatever happens next, always with the other in mind.

- Jay Litvin  https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/160887/jewish/Compassion.htm

I have always loved the idea that people believe me to be compassionate and generous but it's only after reading the passage above I have discovered that what my idea of compassion was until now was quite warped. I had blended it with the Hindu philosophy of karma and come up with my own version of, "If I do good to others then others will do good to me." And when the good did not beget good, I spiralled down the abyss of depression and self-loathing. "I had not done enough." Now, I realise that if you're looking for outcomes, it's not compassion.

Book 45: Cilka's Journey by Heather Morris

Book 45: Cilka's Journey

Author: Heather Morris (New Zealand) 🇳🇿

Genre: Historical Fiction

Set in: Slovakia 🇸🇰 Poland 🇵🇱 USSR ☭ 

Page 279:

Everyone affected by war, captivity, or oppression reacts differently – and away from it, people might try to guess how they would act, or react, in the circumstances. But they do not really know.

Flag score:  🇸🇰 🇬🇷 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 🇳🇬 🇮🇷 🇵🇪 🇭🇰 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 🇬🇾 🇮🇩 🇵🇾 🇦🇷 🇩🇰 🇺🇸 🇭🇷 🇵🇹 🇮🇹 🇩🇪 🇨🇦 🇿🇦 🇸🇬 🇬🇧 🇷🇴 🇲🇽 🇳🇿 🇮🇸 🇦🇺 🇱🇧 🇳🇱 🇮🇪 🇪🇸 🇲🇽 🇹🇿 ☭🇷🇺 🇮🇳 🇩🇪 🇨🇭 🇫🇷 🇫🇲 🇵🇰 🇯🇵 🇳🇪 🇧🇩 🇦🇫 🇸🇾 🏴󠁣󠁮󠀵󠀴󠁿 🇪🇬 🇾🇪 🇸🇰 🇵🇱 🇦🇹 🇨🇳 🇹🇭 🇦🇪 🇨🇺 🇺🇦 🇰🇭 🇨🇿 🇰🇵 🇻🇳 🇭🇺 🇨🇱 🇧🇴 🇧🇷

#readingjourney23 #flagscore #cilkasjourney #books #heathermorris #gulag #ussr #sovietunion #stalin #auschwitz #birkenau #nazi #WW2 #bookoholic #primereading #kindlebooks #amazon

A Mandala for Gratitude

A mandala made of the names of all the people, institutions and beings who have touched my life, thanking them while remembering them all.

To Zoroastrians, with Love

Most of my friends, teachers and colleagues have been Zoroastrians and I have had the privilege, at times, to have been the only non-Zoroastrian at a dinner. Their food and culture has been an integral part of my life. In India, Zoroastrianism is a closed-door religion. You cannot convert and Zoroastrian women are excommunicated if they marry outside their religion. It's one of the reasons why the population of Zoroastrians in India have dwindled over the decades. Non-Zoroastrians are strictly not allowed to enter any of their places of worship in the country. This is to honour a vow given to the king of Gujarat who gave them sanctuary when they fled Persia in the 7th century AD.

In Iran, in spite of centuries of persecution under Islamic regimes, the religion is more open-door and you can enter their places of worship (or find some videos on YouTube) and you discover the rituals are not very different from most Eastern religions. Fire is sacred and pure. Incense is burnt. There's chanting. The priests wear white and stand out from the rest. The women cover their heads.

While we can debate forever about what came first and who had more followers than whom, isn't it amazing that somehow, irrespective of which part of the world they were in, people, through centuries have devised very similar techniques and rituals to offer prayers and even made the same tools for worship? That, I think is the triumph of humankind.

Of Afghans and Sufism

Between 2015-21, I was part of a peacebuilding through education project in Afghanistan, the birthplace of Rumi. I had students in Kabul, Herat and Kandahar - bright young minds who believed in free speech and democracy. Our exchanges were beautiful as they talked about hope and peace. Then, in August 2021, the Taliban took over the country and they found themselves turn into refugees. I have learnt more about courage and survival from them. They wrap their horrid tales of desperation with humour. When I talk to them, now in their 'safer' new homelands, often they quote Rumi and his teacher, Shams. The soul keeps seeking.

Your most authentic self

You are never going to be the same person you are at this moment. Your thoughts and cells change with each heartbeat. Your most authentic self is what you are right now.

- Eisha

#authenticself #thoughtoftheday #thoughtsbyeisha

Of beggars and a lesson

There are many beggars on the streets in India and growing up here you stop "seeing" them because they're everywhere, or you have been warned by your elders to keep them at bay or you're aware of the huge begging mafia. Around 15 years ago, I was at a street food stall eating a sandwich when a child begged for food. There were others too. I feared they might all ask so I turned him down. He kept 'irritating' me while tugging at my shirt. I gobbled my sandwich (couldn't enjoy it) and ran to the car. He had followed me. I had posted this on Facebook to highlight how irritating the experience was, a student of mine replied, "Ma'am, you could have bought another plate of sandwiches and asked the kids to share. It might have made all of you happy instead of irritated." 

Seva or Service: An Indian daughter's duty

To serve, is ingrained in daughters of Indian households. When we marry, we marry the family, not just the person and so we take on the roles of the nuturer, the breadwinner, the companion, the server, the cook, the carer, the keeper, the supporter, the chronicler, the spiritualist and the defender. All forms of seva or service.

I have played these roles for 15 years in a huge household with a culture very different from my own. It hasn't been easy but every step has been a learning. I am very individualistic by nature and the conflicts between nature and culture surface from time to time. And yet, I have realised that if I look at it more as seva, with humility, I have more to love than not. 

The Gift of Presence, The Perils of Advice by Parker J Palmer

Here’s the deal. The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed — to be seen, heard and companioned exactly as it is. When we make that kind of deep bow to the soul of a suffering person, our respect reinforces the soul’s healing resources, the only resources that can help the sufferer make it through.

Aye, there’s the rub. Many of us “helper” types are as much or more concerned with being seen as good helpers as we are with serving the soul-deep needs of the person who needs help. Witnessing and companioning take time and patience, which we often lack — especially when we’re in the presence of suffering so painful we can barely stand to be there, as if we were in danger of catching a contagious disease. We want to apply our “fix,” then cut and run, figuring we’ve done the best we can to “save” the other person.

Read the rest of the piece on:

https://onbeing.org/blog/the-gift-of-presence-the-perils-of-advice/?fbclid=IwAR2T6FV9XlTmzSOPosq6zhg9__2FGimwp2m8QpMTrCOFnPf-mkz42x4vc4Y

The dog in my garden

A stray dog has been coming to my garden for the last six months and I have been feeding her for the last couple of months. I don't want to 'own' her so I haven't given her a name. She responds to a couple of my whistles, jumping out of the shadows and hovers behind me wagging her tail while I set a dish of food in front of her. I have never touched her, and I think she, having lived a life of a stray in India - shoved, pushed and chased away - avoids being touched as well. She waits for me to leave while she eats. I collect her empty dish only after she leaves. She appeared at a time when my son's occupational therapist insisted that we should get a dog. I have never wanted to buy one and was hesitant about adopting one and taking on the additional responsibility. This could be divine intervention. She doesn't ask for more and am happy with the balance this relationship is in.

When your birding activities make it to the national bird lists

When birdwatching is not just a hobby, this . Thank you #stateofindiasbirds for this appreciation and ebird for helping me conduct these bird censuses. #ecology #urbanbirding #birder #india #ebird #cornelllabofornithology

Can compassion become toxic?

I had a toxic relationship (for the lack of a better word) with someone I thought was my friend and he manipulated my need to be compassionate towards him. It has made me overthink each time someone appeals to me for help. In retrospect, I was too proud to see the toxicity believing that I had the power to change him and his ways through love and support. After giving myself time and distance, I have realised that compassion, for the sake of reinforcing one's belief that one is compassionate, panders more to the ego than the soul.

Thought for the day: Extraordinary

I strove to be extraordinary but life is better without strife.

- Eisha

Book 44: Atomic Habits by James Clear

Book 44: Atomic Habits - Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results 

Author: James Clear (USA) 🇺🇸

Genre: Behaviour/Self-help

Set in: USA 🇺🇸 UK 🇬🇧 Hungary 🇭🇺 Netherlands 🇳🇱 Canada 🇨🇦 

Page 151:

Conventional wisdom holds that motivation is the key to habit change. Maybe if you really wanted it, you’d actually do it. But the truth is, our real motivation is to be lazy and to do what is convenient. And despite what the latest productivity best seller will tell you, this is a smart strategy, not a dumb one.

Flag score:  🇬🇷 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 🇳🇬 🇮🇷 🇵🇪 🇭🇰 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 🇬🇾 🇮🇩 🇵🇾 🇦🇷 🇩🇰 🇺🇸 🇭🇷 🇵🇹 🇮🇹 🇩🇪 🇨🇦 🇿🇦 🇸🇬 🇬🇧 🇷🇴 🇲🇽 🇳🇿 🇮🇸 🇦🇺 🇱🇧 🇳🇱 🇮🇪 🇪🇸 🇲🇽 🇹🇿 ☭🇷🇺 🇮🇳 🇩🇪 🇨🇭 🇫🇷 🇫🇲 🇵🇰 🇯🇵 🇳🇪 🇧🇩 🇦🇫 🇸🇾 🏴󠁣󠁮󠀵󠀴󠁿 🇪🇬 🇾🇪 🇸🇰 🇵🇱 🇦🇹 🇨🇳 🇹🇭 🇦🇪 🇨🇺 🇺🇦 🇰🇭 🇨🇿 🇰🇵 🇻🇳 🇭🇺 🇨🇱 🇧🇴 🇧🇷

#readingjourney23 #books #atomichabits #habits #behaviour #jamesclear #bookoholic #flagscore

Decoupage: My late father-in-law's briefcase

Decoupaged my late father-in-law's old briefcase with the leather-top with son's first painting (with my father-in-law in 2020) and an old thank you card my husband had made when he was about 11. The butterflies and stickers are from my son's collection. The inside is intact and hence will be used to preserve their memorable works of art 😊 #art #decoupage #oldandnew

Book 43: History of Communism: Trace the Bloody Roots of this Extreme Political Ideology

Book 43: History of Communism - Trace the Bloody Roots of this Extreme Political Ideology

Authors: Steve Dacombe, Adam Markiewicz, Laurie Newman, Kate Puttick, Drew Sleep, Katy Stokes (UK) 🇬🇧

Genre: History/Politics/Communism

Set in: USSR ☭ France 🇫🇷 UK 🇬🇧 Germany 🇩🇪 Ukraine 🇺🇦 Cambodia 🇰🇭 Cuba 🇨🇺 China 🇨🇳 Czechia 🇨🇿 North Korea 🇰🇵 USA 🇺🇸 Vietnam 🇻🇳 Austria 🇦🇹  Poland 🇵🇱 Hungary 🇭🇺 Chile 🇨🇱 Bolivia 🇧🇴 Argentina🇦🇷 Brazil 🇧🇷 Yugoslavia 

Page 82:

Maoist communism commanded the people to live side by side in communes and eat together in communal kitchens. When the Great Leap started, workers were encouraged to eat as much as they wanted in the communal kitchens. What followed was severe food shortages as the harvests could not support such demand for food and the communist system wasn't strong enough to provide food aid to all parts of the country. This led to famine.

Flag score: 🇬🇷 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 🇳🇬 🇮🇷 🇵🇪 🇭🇰 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 🇬🇾 🇮🇩 🇵🇾 🇦🇷 🇩🇰 🇺🇸 🇭🇷 🇵🇹 🇮🇹 🇩🇪 🇨🇦 🇿🇦 🇸🇬 🇬🇧 🇷🇴 🇲🇽 🇳🇿 🇮🇸 🇦🇺 🇱🇧 🇳🇱 🇮🇪 🇪🇸 🇲🇽 🇹🇿 ☭🇷🇺 🇮🇳 🇩🇪 🇨🇭 🇫🇷 🇫🇲 🇵🇰 🇯🇵 🇳🇪 🇧🇩 🇦🇫 🇸🇾 🏴󠁣󠁮󠀵󠀴󠁿 🇪🇬 🇾🇪 🇸🇰 🇵🇱 🇦🇹 🇨🇳 🇹🇭 🇦🇪 🇨🇺 🇺🇦  🇰🇭 🇨🇿  🇰🇵  🇻🇳  🇭🇺  🇨🇱  🇧🇴  🇧🇷

#readingjourney23 #communism #historyofcommunism #books #bookoholic 

Book 42: Ottoline goes to School by Chris Riddell

Book 42: Ottoline goes to School

Author: Chris Riddell (UK) 🇬🇧

Genre: Children's Books 

"Cheer up," said Alice B. Smith after they had bandaged Mr. Munroe's hand. "Flower arranging isn't everyone's cup of tea."

Flag score: 🇬🇷 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 🇳🇬 🇮🇷 🇵🇪 🇭🇰 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 🇬🇾 🇮🇩 🇵🇾 🇦🇷 🇩🇰 🇺🇸 🇭🇷 🇵🇹 🇮🇹 🇩🇪 🇨🇦 🇿🇦 🇸🇬 🇬🇧 🇷🇴 🇲🇽 🇳🇿 🇮🇸 🇦🇺 🇱🇧 🇳🇱 🇮🇪 🇪🇸 🇲🇽 🇹🇿 ☭🇷🇺 🇮🇳 🇩🇪 🇨🇭 🇫🇷 🇫🇲 🇵🇰 🇯🇵 🇳🇪 🇧🇩 🇦🇫 🇸🇾 🏴󠁣󠁮󠀵󠀴󠁿 🇪🇬 🇾🇪 🇸🇰 🇵🇱 🇦🇹 🇨🇳 🇹🇭 🇦🇪

#readingjourney23 #books #bookoholic #ottoline #chrisriddell #childrensbooks #childrenslaureate #illustrations #graphicnovels

Book 41: The Veteran by Frederick Forsyth

Book 41: The Veteran

Author: Frederick Forsyth (England) 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Genre: Thriller

Set in: UK 🇬🇧 Thailand 🇹🇭 France 🇫🇷 Italy🇮🇹 UAE 🇦🇪 USA 🇺🇸

Page 185: 

"The Church needed reform but not schism, yet many in power could not see it that way."

Flag score: 🇬🇷 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 🇳🇬 🇮🇷 🇵🇪 🇭🇰 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 🇬🇾 🇮🇩 🇵🇾 🇦🇷 🇩🇰 🇺🇸 🇭🇷 🇵🇹 🇮🇹 🇩🇪 🇨🇦 🇿🇦 🇸🇬 🇬🇧 🇷🇴 🇲🇽 🇳🇿 🇮🇸 🇦🇺 🇱🇧 🇳🇱 🇮🇪 🇪🇸 🇲🇽 🇹🇿 ☭🇷🇺 🇮🇳 🇩🇪 🇨🇭 🇫🇷 🇫🇲 🇵🇰 🇯🇵 🇳🇪 🇧🇩 🇦🇫 🇸🇾 🏴󠁣󠁮󠀵󠀴󠁿 🇪🇬 🇾🇪 🇸🇰 🇵🇱 🇦🇹 🇨🇳 🇹🇭 🇦🇪

#readingjourney23 #fredrickforsyth #thriller #theveteran #flagscore #books #bookoholic 

Closure

As non-fiction writers, we often leave things open because the story never ends as per the deadline. As a fiction writer I attempted that with my series, The Goa Saga, and I got some mixed reactions from the older generations who like tighter endings. We, on the other hand, have adapted to the bottomless scroll of our newsfeeds and hence leaving things open mean there may be something better coming our way that we might have shut ourselves to had we had our closures.

Our best version

We are all trying to be our best selves but maybe the best version of us at this moment is who we are in this moment.