Only in Kolkata...

• will you find a Marwari Mahila Association banner right next to a "pork meat shop"
• will you find ladies wearing their finest dhakai and tangail sarees and make-up for a morning walk or a trip to the machher (fish) market
• will an entire market close down because of a death in one storekeeper's family
• will you put four locks on your front door and still feel unsafe
• will you find veggies at the rate of Rs 10/kg
• will you find more ponds than public gardens
• will you start your day with a mouthful of sweets to go along with some fine Darjeeling tea
• you could have an hour-long conversation with a neighbour at your gate, without really inviting him/her in or going out yourself
• will you find streets and shops named after Hahnemann and homeopaths
• will you  begin the day by reciting Tagore's poems instead of prayer
• will you be expected to sing at any gathering... and it better be good!
• will you be able to dig into the most succulent chelo kebabs at Peter Cat
• will you be discriminated, not on the basis of caste, but on the basis of which football club you support, whether it is Mohun Bagan or East Bengal
• will you find more hand-pumps than street-lights
• will you find trams and tramlines that serve no real purpose
• will you find spacious yellow Ambassador taxis that create more traffic chaos than anything on road
• will you find minibus drivers who think they are riding in tanks
• will you find almost no cows
• is paneer an expensive commodity (because the mithaiwalas stock up all the good stuff)
• will cha (tea) be the most ordered drink in a coffee house
• will you realise that Hakka is not just a noodle but a dry Chinese preparation made by a tribe of that name
• will you find Chinese who speak Bengali fluently
• will you find ghosts in public libraries and the old governor-generals' residences
• will you find a pair of handmade boots at a Chinese shoemaker at Bentick Street for Rs 500
• will you find policemen wearing white uniforms and black boots
• will there be one Bollywood hoarding among hundreds of Tollywood and Hollywood ones
• is the rupee called taka
• will you find streets named after officers of the British Raj
• will you find men walking around in colourful batik kurtas
• there are more henpecked men than anywhere
• not eating fish is really a big deal
• an afternoon siesta is a must (especially after all that rice you've had for lunch)
• 7 pm is prime-time for Bengali TV channels
• you wouldn't be caught dead trying to catch fish at the neighbouring pond
• you will ditch the peanuts and opt for some jhalmuri to go with your drink
• cricket matters only when it's played at Eden Gardens or Sourav's in the team
• power-cuts can extend to upto 12 hours or more
• embroidery is still a hobby
• girls wear pants and waistcoats to school
• reading is still a habit
• a walk to the market is considered an exercise
• "adda maara" (a chat or gossip session) is more a necessity than a pastime
• will you find the most mouth-watering spicy Hungarian sausages at Kalman at Free School Street
• will people be bothered about what's happening in Dhaka than in Delhi
• Mamata is "Didi" but Rahul is certainly not "Baba"
• painting the town red means a completely different thing
• in spite of all the water around there is little potable water
• English is the second language
• no meal's complete without the meat
• politics is part of life, work an aberration