I finally finished reading Raising a Humanist authored by a senior colleague in media education, Manisha Pathak-Shelat and my former student Kiran Bhatia over a week that has seen many of my extended family members and friends wracked by Covid19. The book has helped me cope through emotional upheaval this week and I am grateful to them for writing it. My three-year-old delightfully calls it “Manisha Aunty’s and Kiran’s purple book” and admiringly points to the pictures of the two authors on the back cover. They are also the only colour photographs in the whole book and hence grab the toddler’s attention when he is not clamouring for mine. Here’s my review below:
Book: Raising a Humanist – Conscious Parenting in an
Increasingly Fragmented World
Authors: Manisha Pathak-Shelat and Kiran Vinod Bhatia
Pages: 240
Publisher: Sage Publishing
Price: Rs 495
One of the things that happen to you after becoming a mother
is that you read all kinds of literature and watch numerous videos about
parenting and how to raise kids. Often the how-to guides help but seldom delve
deeper into the why, when, what, where and who. That’s where Raising a
Humanist comes in. It describes the problems that parents encounter in an
increasingly polarized and globalised world and then suggests solutions to the
same without being preachy. The authors describe a child’s world view, how it
is shaped by family, school and media. They talk about our echo chambers that
operate around gender, religion, caste and class.
As you traverse through the pages, you start questioning
your own philosophies and traditions, about how you and your family define and
discriminate against the other gender, caste, creed, colour and religion. How
many times have you consciously or sub-consciously shut your child out when you
didn’t want to answer his/her questions? How many times have you chosen to
ignore the fact that you’ve woken up early to make breakfast and tiffin for
your family before dashing off to office while your spouse has spent his
morning working out and reading a newspaper? How many times have you asked the
maid to bring your child a glass of water or a spoon or search for something
your child has misplaced instead of asking your child to do the same? How many
times have you complained about reservations and then don’t want your child to
play with others of economically and socially backward classes? How many times
have you simply handed your mobile phone to your child so you could binge-watch
your favourite show on an OTT platform? How many times have you taken your child
out for dinner or ordered food just because you didn’t want to cook?
Raising a Humanist is a well-researched book packed
with case studies, quotes, black and white illustrations, questions and exercises
that makes you introspect about your identity, core beliefs and your idea of
humanism and more importantly, if you’re willing to change them. It’s not just
for parents, guardians, teachers or caregivers to know, but for every member of
society, because whether you choose or not, you do come in contact with children
and influence their lives directly or indirectly. The language is non-academic
to allow for a lay reader to understand, though you might want to take breaks
in your reading to ponder. While the book is primarily directed towards Indian
parents, its wisdom can be shared across generations, borders, cultures, societies
and languages. The authors write, “We must hold onto the last ounce of
compassion and understanding in us as we create bridges and undo boundaries. We
will encounter fear, threats, backlash and ridicule in our journey towards
creating inclusive societies, but we can promise one thing. In the end, the
struggle won’t be for nothing.” That’s a good reason to read this one.
